covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
