no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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