mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
