I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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