I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
