everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was born a porn star she said
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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