So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
