jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
