Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
