Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
