His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
