Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
