sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
