no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
