first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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