I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she told me i tasted like america
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
