Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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