part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
