There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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