What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Even my vagina gasped.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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