Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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