Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
