This is not my ceiling
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
