Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
