I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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