tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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