i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dick very happy bro
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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