The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
