You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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