One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
