Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
