it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
