Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I want to be your penis for a week.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
