my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
