if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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