I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
