is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i think i have herpe
just one?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
