He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
