i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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