This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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