Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
