If i come over, it means nothing
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
