i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
