i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
