508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
