:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
