i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
