She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
