I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
