margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Im part way to drunk.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
