like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
