It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
